05
Mar
12

Here we go again… *sigh*

If anyone still checks on this blog, I am sure you have noticed how many times over the last couple of years I have made excuses for why a chapter isn’t out yet.

Well, I am sorry about that. Sometimes real life just happens, ya know?

After Berkeley passed away in December, I just haven’t felt like doing much when it comes to Sims. Depression has really been kicking my butt. I still miss him desperately and I still cry for him every day. I know, I know… some of you out there (if there IS in fact, anyone out there) would say he was just a cat. But he was more than that to me. Other animal lovers understand how it is: pets become more than pets – they become family members. Berkeley was like my child – he was a source of comfort, strength, and love all wrapped up in one beautiful black and white package. My sister-in-law drew for us a beautiful picture of him as a Christmas gift, and I hung it on the wall behind my computer desk. It is now the first thing I see when I wake up in the morning, and for eleven years, Berkeley’s face was the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes. It is so hard to accept that he is not here any more.

Another source of depression (still) is the miscarriage I had last Summer. February 12th was to be my due date, so needless to say I relived the pain of that loss all over again last month. January hasn’t been easy for me either, since the miscarriage in 2006, because (if my calculations are correct) I should have been due with that baby then. I should have been planning a birthday party for a five year old this January. Instead, I was mourning Berkeley’s passing and dreading the upcoming February date. Mentally and emotionally, I am exhausted.

I can say, without a doubt, that we had the worst Christmas we have ever had as a family. No baby on the way, no Berkeley, I had a migraine that just wouldn’t quit as well as an abscessed tooth, and Sean spent Christmas Eve AND the day after Christmas at the emergency room with an ulcer. I pulled myself together long enough to cook Christmas dinner, which no one ate but me (Sean was in too much pain and Andy threw his on the floor – needless to say, I wasn’t happy about that either). Seriously… we are talking Christmas from Hell!

On a brighter note thought, physically, I am finally starting to feel better! I have had three (count them – THREE) root canals so far this year. I freaking HATE my teeth. One tooth in particular plagued me for months and finally, I just couldn’t stand the pain any more. Of course, this was over the Christmas holidays so nearly everything was closed. I ended up having to go stay with my parents because the only dentist that could see me on such short notice was out their way (God bless Dr. Ronnie Lloyd!!!). I was there nearly the whole month of January AND February. That meant no playing Sims for nearly two months! I did get a little writing done though, so at least all wasn’t lost. And… we got a new kitty! She’s five months old (four months when I got her) and her name is Annie. I hadn’t planned on getting another cat (didn’t want to feel like I was trying to replace Berkeley – which is impossible), but Sean’s grandma called me up and told me how her friend had a kitten that she was allergic to. I decided to take her on a trial basis, but when I saw her I knew I wanted to keep her. Her face, her markings (but not her coloring), her body frame, her personality… all remind me of Berkeley. Her fur even feels the way his did. Andy adores her, and she is the only cat in the house now that isn’t afraid of him (Berkeley wasn’t afraid of him either – the others… they just run). I didn’t name her, and as cute as I think her name is, I probably would have renamed her if she didn’t already know her name. Sometimes now when you call Andy, Annie comes – and vice versa. LOL I’ve decided that her full name is Annabell Lee, and that Annie will be the name we call her. I find myself calling her Annie-Bell a lot. 🙂

Also, I was speaking with a friend of mine about her gluten allergy, and began to look up exactly what that means for my mother, who was thinking maybe she is a celiac. I was able to put a check mark by nearly EVERY SINGLE ITEM on that list for myself, so it looks as though I may be allergic to gluten! When I came back home from my parents’, I started a gluten-free diet. I’ve been on it over a week now and I gotta say, I actually do feel better! I plan on going gluten-free for a couple more weeks and then speaking to someone about getting the blood test done to make sure. I have even lost a little weight (already!!!) from having to cut out so many carbohydraty-things. I am also doing the Atkins diet, so that is probably a factor in the weight loss. I think going gluten-free has even helped ease my depression a little, which brings me to an update about the chapter…

It is coming along. Nicely too, I think, all things considered.

All of the pictures and most of the text for 6.7 are finished, and I am now working on 6.8 as I want to release them together. They are not light and fluffy chapters, as my mood for the last few months has really played into where the story goes. I had major plot points outlined ages ago, but everything has taken on a darker tone. Maybe it’s for the best, maybe not. I am pleased with how dark it is, because it really couldn’t be told any other way. I do struggle a bit with “how dark is too dark??” when it comes to the pictures though. I don’t want people to read the chapter and get depressed. I’d love some feedback on that, if anyone out there is reading this. For instance, is this (cropped for spoilers) picture too much?

Yes, this is suicide. But whose??

So that about wraps it up. I’m not going to make any promises as to when the chapter(s) will be released. It’ll get done when it gets done. Until then, let’s hope I can continue this good mood long enough to get it done!

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6 Responses to “Here we go again… *sigh*”


  1. 23 March 2012 at 4:41 am

    Hey there! I have been reading your posts still from time to time. What can I say, I like this legacy. 🙂

    I really hope your good mood keeps getting better, because I look forward to your next updates; I don’t know if you remember me, but I hope you do.

    I have news too… I’m finally starting a legacy. It’s a Sims 3 legacy, though. I wanted to ask you, when you have the time, and if you want, please see my first chapter and give me an advice: should I quit or shouldn’t I? :))

    I could really use your opinion.

    Respect!

    Ermannith.

    • 25 March 2012 at 1:03 am

      I left a comment on your blog! Thank you for the link to your legacy. As I said in the comment I left, I like the story so far and I definitely think you should continue!

      And yes, I remember you! Thank you for checking in on me. 🙂

  2. 25 March 2012 at 9:59 am

    Thank you so much for checking out my blog! I linked you on my home page, where I wrote that description, as one of the best legacies I read so far, and one of the two people who write about Sims that I ever followed on WordPress untill now. You should know once more how much I apreciate your writing! So, your opinion is more than valuable to me 🙂


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Sim Goddess



Welcome to my blog! My name is Robin and I have been playing The Sims 2 since it was first released (September 13 2004 - technically it came out on the 14, but I had preordered it from EB Games so I got it a day early). Before that, I had been playing original Sims game since... 2000? 2001? I'm not quite sure, but I do remember having to wait for Hot Date to be released. So yeah, I've been playing Sims for years.

This blog, Shadows and Blood, is the home of my legacy (and sometimes some real life stuff too). What is a legacy? Oh, just look at my "Site-ations" list and you'll find a link. I don't have a link to the official site because it fails and I am against it (hence putting my story here, rather than on my Simpage).

So yeah, sit back and read my story. Tell me what you think (unless you think it blows - in that case, don't let the browser hit you in the ass on the way out... jk) or just stop by and say hello. Unlike my Sims, I don't bite.

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